‘Is your daddy home?’ ‘ Yes, he’s out in the garden ,’ whispered the small voice. ‘May I talk with him?’ The child whispered, ‘ No .’ ;

So the boss asked, ‘Well, is your Mommy there?’ ‘ Yes, she’s out in the garden too ‘& The boss asked; ‘May I talk with her?’ Again the small voice whispered, ‘ No .’ Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, ‘Is anybody else there?’ ‘ Yes ,’ whispered the child, ‘ a policeman.. ‘

Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee’s home, the boss asked, ‘May I speak with the policeman?’ ‘ No, he’s busy , ‘ whispered the child. ‘Busy doing what?’ ‘ Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the police dog men. ‘ Growing more worried as he heard a loud noise in the background, the boss asked, ‘What is that noise?’ ‘ It’s a helicopter ‘ answered the whispering voice.

‘What is going on there?’ demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive. ‘ The search team just landed a helicopter ‘ ‘A search team?’ said the boss. ‘What are they searching for?’

Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle…. ‘ ME ‘

The woman perks up and says, “How about that? I just ordered a glass of champagne, too!”

“What a coincidence,” he said, “This is a special day for me, I’m celebrating.”

“This is a special day for me, too, and I’m also celebrating!,” says the woman.

“What a coincidence,” says the man. As they clinked glasses he asked, “What are you Celebrating?”

“My husband and I have been trying to have a child, and today my gynecologist told me I’m pregnant!”

“What a coincidence,” says the man. “I’m a chicken farmer. For years all my hens were infertile, but today they’re finally laying fertilized eggs.”

“That’s great!” says the woman, “How did your chickens become fertile?”

“I switched cocks,” he replied.

She smiled and said, “What a coincidence!”……

J- Kis Baat Ka?

S- Note Chhapne main

a local night club? This morning I got home to my apartment early and heard a noise in my bedroom. On entering I knew someone had been  with  my wife and the balcony door was open. I rushed out the balcony door  and did not find anyone. As I looked down from the balcony I saw a  man  running out and he was dressing himself. I grabbed the fridge and  threw it at him, That’s how I strained my back”.

The 2nd patient arrives looking as if he has been in a car wreck.

The doctor said “My previous patient looked bad, but you look terrible..

What the hell happened to you?” He replied, “You know I have been  unemployed for a while now .Today was the first day at my new job. I  forgot to set my alarm and was running late.. I was running out of  the  building, getting dressed at the same time, and you won’t believe it  but I was hit by a fridge.”

The 3rd patient arrives; he looks even worse than the other two  patients do. The doctor is shocked. Again asks, “What the hell  happened to youuuuuu……?” “Well I was sitting in a fridge &  someone  threw it from the 3rd floor”.

Then they come across an elephant doing opium, so the rabbit again says, “Elephant my friend, why do you do this? Think about your health. Come running with us through the pretty forest, you’ll see, you’ll feel so good!” The elephant looks at them, looks at his razor, mirror and all, and then tosses them and starts running with the rabbit and giraffe.

The three animals then come across a lion about to take a heroin shot… The rabbit says “Lion my friend, why do you do this? Think about your health! Come running with us through the sunny forest, you will feel so good!” The lion looks at him, puts down his needle, and starts to beat the hell out of the little rabbit.

As the giraffe and elephant watch in horror, they look at him and ask, “Lion, why did you do this? He was merely trying to help us all!”

The lion answered…

“That little devil makes me run around the forest like an idiot for hours every time he’s high on cocaine!”

1. Fine : This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
2. Five Minutes : If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
3. Nothing : This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
4. Go Ahead : This is a dare, not permission. Don’t Do It!
5. Loud Sigh : This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)
6. That’s Okay : This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man.. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
7. Thanks : A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you’re welcome.
8. Whatever : Is a women’s way of saying Get Lost you Idiot!
9. Don’t worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking ‘What’s wrong?’ For the woman’s response refer to #3.

Then they come across an elephant doing opium, so the rabbit again says, “Elephant my friend, why do you do this? Think about your health. Come running with us through the pretty forest, you’ll see, you’ll feel so good!” The elephant looks at them, looks at his razor, mirror and all, and then tosses them and starts running with the rabbit and giraffe.

The three animals then come across a lion about to take a heroin shot… The rabbit says “Lion my friend, why do you do this? Think about your health! Come running with us through the sunny forest, you will feel so good!” The lion looks at him, puts down his needle, and starts to beat the hell out of the little rabbit.

As the giraffe and elephant watch in horror, they look at him and ask, “Lion, why did you do this? He was merely trying to help us all!”

The lion answers….. …..

“That little devil makes me run around the forest like an idiot for hours every time he’s high on cocaine!”

Frog-man

Innovative suicides

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