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A popular motivational speaker was entertaining his audience.
Said he:
“The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who wasn’t my wife!”
The audience was in silence and shock.
The speaker added: “And that woman was my mother!”
Laughter and applause.
A week later, a top manager trained by the motivational speaker tried to crack this very effective joke at home. He was a bit foggy after a drink.
He said loudly, “The greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who was not my wife!”. The wife went wan with shock and rage.
Standing there for 20 seconds trying to recall the second half of the joke, the manager finally blurted out “… and I can’t remember who she was!”
Moral of the story:
Don’t copy if you can’t paste!
Continue Reading Comments on this entry are closed Drunkard jokes
Ash-tray
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A little rabbit happily running through the forest stumbles upon a giraffe rolling a marijuana cigarette. The rabbit looks at her and says, “Giraffe my friend, why do you do this? Think about your health. Come with me running through the forest, you’ll see, you’ll feel so much better!” The giraffe looks at him, looks at the joint, tosses it and goes off running with the rabbit.
Then they come across an elephant doing opium, so the rabbit again says, “Elephant my friend, why do you do this? Think about your health. Come running with us through the pretty forest, you’ll see, you’ll feel so good!” The elephant looks at them, looks at his razor, mirror and all, and then tosses them and starts running with the rabbit and giraffe.
The three animals then come across a lion about to take a heroin shot… The rabbit says “Lion my friend, why do you do this? Think about your health! Come running with us through the sunny forest, you will feel so good!” The lion looks at him, puts down his needle, and starts to beat the hell out of the little rabbit.
As the giraffe and elephant watch in horror, they look at him and ask, “Lion, why did you do this? He was merely trying to help us all!”
The lion answered…
“That little devil makes me run around the forest like an idiot for hours every time he’s high on cocaine!”
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These are the nine words that a Woman would use often and the inherent meaning of all of these.
- Fine : This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
- Five Minutes : If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
- Nothing : This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
- Go Ahead : This is a dare, not permission. Don’t Do It!
- Loud Sigh : This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)
- That’s Okay : This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man.. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
- Thanks : A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you’re welcome.
- Whatever : Is a women’s way of saying Get Lost you Idiot!
- Don’t worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking ‘What’s wrong?’ For the woman’s response refer to #3.
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A little rabbit happily running through the forest stumbles upon a giraffe rolling a marijuana cigarette. The rabbit looks at her and says, “Giraffe my friend, why do you do this? Think about your health. Come with me running through the forest, you’ll see, you’ll feel so much better!” The giraffe looks at him, looks at the joint, tosses it and goes off running with the rabbit.
Then they come across an elephant doing opium, so the rabbit again says, “Elephant my friend, why do you do this? Think about your health. Come running with us through the pretty forest, you’ll see, you’ll feel so good!” The elephant looks at them, looks at his razor, mirror and all, and then tosses them and starts running with the rabbit and giraffe.
The three animals then come across a lion about to take a heroin shot… The rabbit says “Lion my friend, why do you do this? Think about your health! Come running with us through the sunny forest, you will feel so good!” The lion looks at him, puts down his needle, and starts to beat the hell out of the little rabbit.
As the giraffe and elephant watch in horror, they look at him and ask, “Lion, why did you do this? He was merely trying to help us all!”
The lion answers….. …..
“That little devil makes me run around the forest like an idiot for hours every time he’s high on cocaine!”
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Etiquettes
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I should say, that nothing is as relaxing as going for a 15 days vacation with you family. The last 15 days were extremely stress-free and full of joy for me while I was away vacationing. On such a vacation, the time that you get to spend with your family is something that you will cherish for years. The best part is that you get to know each individual in your family much more closely. You are then surprised at the fact that there was so much about your loved ones that you never knew.
If you have yet not got a chance to go out for a vacation, then make up your mind right now and set-off for that relaxing vacation today itself.
It often happens that you decide to go on a vacation and then you are so confused about the destination that you end up wasting lot of precious time only in researching the best location. At times you still end up in a place where you would never have wanted to go with your family. Choosing a destination is always the most difficult of things when you plan your romantic vacations.
When destination is a difficult choice, what better place than the Caribbeans. The rugged mountains, the beaches drenched in sunshine, far spreading blue waters and the jungles, everything makes it a perfect destination for your vacations. In the Caribbeans, Jamaica is an ideal vacation destination. You can choose you opt for a jamaica all inclusive resort, and enjoy your vacations there.
If you are single and are planning to get married, then the best option is to combine your vacation, marriage and honeymoon and set-off for the Caribbeans. caribbean weddings are very common these days and is something that you would not want to forget ever in your life.
Happy vacationing to all.
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I read the book right
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Thinking
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