One morning at a doctor’s clinic a patient arrives complaining of  serious back-pain. The doctor examines him and asks him” OK, what  happened to your back?” The patient replies “You know that I work  for

a local night club? This morning I got home to my apartment early and heard a noise in my bedroom. On entering I knew someone had been  with  my wife and the balcony door was open. I rushed out the balcony door  and did not find anyone. As I looked down from the balcony I saw a  man  running out and he was dressing himself. I grabbed the fridge and  threw it at him, That’s how I strained my back”.

The 2nd patient arrives looking as if he has been in a car wreck.

The doctor said “My previous patient looked bad, but you look terrible..

What the hell happened to you?” He replied, “You know I have been  unemployed for a while now .Today was the first day at my new job. I  forgot to set my alarm and was running late.. I was running out of  the  building, getting dressed at the same time, and you won’t believe it  but I was hit by a fridge.”

The 3rd patient arrives; he looks even worse than the other two  patients do. The doctor is shocked. Again asks, “What the hell  happened to youuuuuu……?” “Well I was sitting in a fridge &  someone  threw it from the 3rd floor”.

These are the nine words that a Woman would use often and the inherent meaning of all of these.

1. Fine : This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
2. Five Minutes : If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
3. Nothing : This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
4. Go Ahead : This is a dare, not permission. Don’t Do It!
5. Loud Sigh : This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)
6. That’s Okay : This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man.. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
7. Thanks : A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you’re welcome.
8. Whatever : Is a women’s way of saying Get Lost you Idiot!
9. Don’t worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking ‘What’s wrong?’ For the woman’s response refer to #3.

- A man called home to his wife and said, “Honey I have been asked to go fishing up in Canada with my boss & several of his Friends.
We’ll be gone for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get that Promotion I’ve been wanting, so could you please pack enough Clothes for a week and set out my rod and fishing box, we’re Leaving From the office & I will swing by the house to pick my things up” “Oh! Please pack my new blue silk pajamas.”
The wife thinks this sounds a bit fishy but being the good wife she is, did exactly what her husband asked.
The following Weekend he came home a little tired but otherwise looking good.
The wife welcomed him home and asked if he caught many fish?
He said, “Yes! Lots of Salmon, some Bluegill, and a few Swordfish. But why didn’t you pack my new blue silk pajamas like I asked you to Do?”
The wife replied, “I did. They’re in your fishing box…..”